A father had three children Rose Daisy and Cinderblock. Rose comes up to her father and asks"daddy why am i named Rose?' the father answered"well when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head"Rose Reply's "oh thats nice" and walk's away. the Daisy comes up and ask's "Daddy! why am i named Daisy!" the Dad answered "well. when you were a baby a rose petal fell on your head" Daisy Replied" oh ok i guess" and walked away. Then Cinderblock came up and asked "duuuhhhd" and the father simply replied" Shut up Cinderblock".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the little girl stop riding her bike? She was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the priest blow a kiss and waved to the little girl? She was his daughter. Why did the daughter's mother call the cops on the priest? Child support

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I remember in the 80's it felt like Bill Cosby was being shoved down my throat. He was always on TV with his show and those Jello commercials.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't the ice cream cross the road? ??(?/?) ?. (KOREAN)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Banana say to the Peach. Nothing, they are incapable of speaking because they are fruit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's white, black and can't fly? Nothing important.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in an apple within a worm inside your apple...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What you you call peanut butter on the top of a dog house Peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops