What's worse than knowing you have Hepititis C? Not knowing.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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Why did jim all I over? He dies

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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well use a tissue!

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had a small penis

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What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

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A: Knock, knock A: Knock, knock A: Um, knock, knock! B: Sorry, I was pretending that I wasn't home.

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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