Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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Your face

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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A: Knock, knock. B: Who's there? The writer of this joke had no idea how to end this.

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"Knock Knock" "whos there" "interupting cow" "interupting cow who" "i have aids"

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Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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There was a two car pile up at wal-mart. 50 mexicans were killed.

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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Adam Chebali has no life

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"Seriosly" You got a life buddy? Are you okay? Cant you see that I am totally rocking out on my imaginary air guitar which is now inside your mind? No you are not okay! Moral: YOU ARE NOT OKAY SPREAD THE WORD! INFORM THE WORLD! YOU ARE NOT OKAY! Moral2nd: "Seriously" though dawg, you cant keep watching over me all the time, I mean you I smell the hypocrisy, but are you guys AAAALWAYS HERE? DO NOT REPLY! WE REPEAT, DO NOT REPLY!rq

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hola said the chinese man

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Dogta I don got da aids yeah? Well Sigh... Man I am so sorry, I got the positive, and the uh.. Good news... Whats the good news? I hate you! Whats the positive news? You dont have teh aids.

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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