- Anti Joke

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

all your base are belong to mark

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

Why was the family sad? Their house burnt down.

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because it died

Roses are red Violets are red My lawn is red My fences are red It appears my garden is on fire.

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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