Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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Q: What's the best way to satisfy your hunger A: Eat

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everyone lies especially if they said agree to terms of service

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What did the starving kid say to the starving parent? Pineapple

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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One day a man walked into a wall

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Why was the man sad? Cause his dog fell off a cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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