What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, refrigerator.

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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What did the Homeless man get for Christmas? A dollar

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

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whats a joke... Parker Coffey at life

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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shut up elliot

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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