What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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shut up elliot

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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Hi I am Michael Jackson... you have any young boys? My park is open :), the "nude dark caverns" can be scary, but I accompany them all, so relax. Moral: LEAVE MJ ALONE! ;(

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

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A: knock knock A: knock knock knock... A: door bell

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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mitchell palmer sucks

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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A Mexican, German, and a black man walk into a bar... They promptly exit due to the access amount of tobacco fumes in the air.

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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