What did the alien say to the parachute? We're connected

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 sodomized his whole family.;

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because early that morning she had found out that her husband had left her for another chicken. She became depressed and soon was suicidal so she started looking for an option out of her pain. So she tried to cross the road... She never made it.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. I slipped you a roofie, get ready for me.

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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Nah, could not care less about how I sound on "The network", its just that I spent all night finishing the core concept to my new novel, and all the capital letters and stuff sound like Jim Carrey in my head as I type. So Redcunt, where you going? When you coming back?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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