nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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What if the rest of you value something wrong?

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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just in time?

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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boobs!

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? A Holocaust. What's worse than a Holocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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