How do you tell identical twins apart? You can't. They look identical.

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Banana Hamock.

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A man and a cucumber walk into a bar. They sit three seats away from each other and intermediately give nervous looks to one another. Finally the man stands up and declares "I hate bar jokes" and walks out.

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Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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- Knock Knock. - Who is it? - I am - I am what? - I am dying please help me. - Sorry, I don't speak with strangers.

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Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

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what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

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Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

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Terraria

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What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have ADD Hey look, a squirrel!!

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Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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