A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

what do you call a cross between lasagna and a human. weird

What do you call a house full of Mexicans? A house

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

?Three men walk in to a bar. one walks with a limp. The other two make fun of him and joke of his inability to walk as well as others around him.

If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

My dog got out of it's cage. So I found it and be the shit out of

Cool story bro. Tell it again.

Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Hey Shea

why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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