Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Kittens are orange, puppies are grey, and they both make good pets

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because he was a loaf of bread

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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Why is little johnny sad? He won the lottery but then found out the next day he had cancer and cried in a corner.

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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penis in the camel

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Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

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what do you call a polar bear in a bathtub? No soap, radio

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Your momma's so stupid, she threw out all the W's in the m&m's packet

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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