I tried to play soccer a long time ago. I didn't score and managed to get red card... Then I realized it was not my thing

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q.what did god say when he made the first black person? A.oh shit i burnt it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

the redsox

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the Jew get for Christmas ....... An ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What happened when lost John lost his crack cocaine? A: He bought some weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a raccoon and a bear? One's a raccoon, the other's a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 6's family

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops