Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Red are roses, blue are violets I'm dislexic.

If rocks were people, what would you call a bunch of marble rolling down a hill? Rocks don't have the ability to be people.

What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scholars maintain that the translations to the chickens journal were lost in a hurricane hundreds of years ago. Therefore, the chicken crossed the road for unknown reasons and died knowing it had a dull, pointless life.

Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

What do you think when you see an asian woman behind the wheel of a car? She's very attractive.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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