Why don't vampires like garlic? Every vampires was raped by a garlic salesman.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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A guy walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because he is only 19 years old.

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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Life

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Erectile Dysfunction.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What did one jobless cancer cell say to the other? Lets go get Jobs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops