What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

How do you get rid of a pile of dead babies? Call 911 so someone will pick them up and take them to the morgue.

What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

A guy walks into a bar. NOT!

There are two eggs sitting in a carton in the refrigerator. The first egg says, "Sure is cold in here, eh?" The second egg replies, "Holy crap! A talking egg!"

Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Solely for our entertainment purposes.

What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

What do you call a Mexican in a kitchen? A chef.

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

What do you call a moose with a 12 gauge shotgun bullet through it's head? Open Season

Religionh

Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

Why did the black man actually receive an education. Because he is entitled to one as a citizen of the US. Frederick Douglass, at the twenty-third anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation stated that "Education, the sheet anchor to a society where liberty and justice are secure, is a dangerous thing to society in the presence of injustices and oppressions...." Douglass knew that in order for black people in America to survive, they had to be educated because it was the one area that could make the weak person strong and the black person equal. By the time the modern day Civil Rights Movement started, its leaders already knew that education was knowledge, and that knowledge was power. In order for black people to gain their equality, they would have to have a solid foundation to stand on, and that foundation would be education.

Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...