Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

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Why is Jordan Abu Arabian ? Because his mom is!

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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