Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Finn, a Swede and A Norwegian went to an island. The Norwegian shot them all.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why do black people like fried chicken? A: Because it tastes delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Who invented apple? God

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sigh... I gotta go to night class studies okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

thumb_up thumb_down -9

-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops