"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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what has wheels and can fly and is purple? A plane i lied about the color purple

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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Did you hear the one about the girl who had three nipples? Neither did I.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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What do you call a hit and run victim with multiple injuries? An ambulance.

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How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

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What made the lady dance? Bandz!

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was really frogger in disguise

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What did the black man say to his wife on valentines day? - You are fat

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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Why did the submarine crash? Someone opened the window

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#Getweird

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what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A.act like u see a banner and say hey do you see that banner over there? B.no what are u talking about A.oh well there's a banner over there

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A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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