What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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What did the homeless man get for christmas eve? Hypothermia. What did the children get for christmas day? A traumatic experience when they tripped over his snow-covered corpse.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? a dead baby in a clown costume!!!

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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what's the difference between a duck? one leg's the same.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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