Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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How many dead babies can fit in the trunk of my car? Seven.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? He was busy

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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whats worse than a kane nothing

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot. what do you call a woman flying a plane? 9/11.

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops