How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is this joke an anti joke? Because it's not trying to be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the blonde say when she found a dead bird on the sidewalk? "Aww, look at the poor dead bird!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

poop

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

jingle bells jingle bells,, bells were jingled!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Black people being friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops