A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

where do some birds live in? Earth

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You wanna hear a joke? Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I used to know what alzheimers was

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops