Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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How many people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, more people would just make it harder.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

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A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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Knock knock Whos there your son your son who holy shit dad just let me in

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

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-Will you follow the live coverage of 86th Acacemy Awards? -No. -Are you anti-semitic?

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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