What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

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Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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What is a dogs favorite color? Gray due to the fact that they cant see any other color

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died

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Poop

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops