Roses are red Violets are blue I have altzhiemers Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -30

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why was the black kid made fun of at school? Because he was a nerdy boy who drinks tea

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call an African-American, Latino, Asian, and Canadian all on the same football team? A reasonably diverse group of teammates who are most likely good acquaintances.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

thumb_up thumb_down -30

That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Happy Monday!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops