how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

How's your mum? she's dead..

What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Cheese.

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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