How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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What do you call a dead blond in a closet? A homicide victim.

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Why did the blonde fall down? She got shot in the head.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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A man walks around a bar.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

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Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops