what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

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Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Why did Jack and Jill go up the hill? To get to their house.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Jesus wept.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What did the peach say to the apple? Nothing. Peaches can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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