What did the grass say to the human "Hey" The human then screams and runs to safety

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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The meme walks out of the bar.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

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Why did the girl say 'baa'? Because she was a lamb.

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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