What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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A man walked in a bar had 4 drinks and walked home because drunk driving is dangerous

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Dick Chaney

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Why are atheists stupid? Actually, statistically, they are more intelligent than believers.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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What do you call a pig with no arms? A pig, pigs don't have arms

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womens sports...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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