What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did the hipster hate black people? Because he was racist.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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Q: What is hard and long on a man? A: His wife's funeral

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A scorpion was trying to sting it in the anus and it wanted to escape the undoubtedly painful consequences.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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