Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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i was molested.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? He got a blanket.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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