You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

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Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

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penis

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

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I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping yesterday? He slept for at least 3 hours.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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what is long,hard and holds semen,a submarine , i spelled seamen wrong

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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FIRE!!

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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