Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

Kony 2012

Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

What?

What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

what did the atheist get for Christmas? Nothing. If he was being truly honest to his beliefs, he wouldn't partake in a christian holiday.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because my first shot missed.

Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

26.5% of Americans are obese.

What happens when a japanese boy goes into a planet called Zypharecion which is 2000 light years away with 20% oxygen and 78% nitrogen and 2% of other earthly air elements and heats up a balloon enough that it explodes? He wont be at that planet because it does not exist and travelling at the speed of light has not been proven possible for humans.

There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...