How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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What starts with an F and ends with a UCK? Firetruck.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? know on knows as he can't talk

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what's funnier than 1 Mecican? 2 Mexicans

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Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12- 18 (depending on size) I know this because i use to work at a abortion clinic

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your a Jew, I don't like you.

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Good to see you today!

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops