What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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It's black, and when it falls out of a tree, your refrigurator is broken. Your refrigurator.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Not the holocaust

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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make me a sandwich!

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

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Religion

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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