Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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Religion

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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two muffins were in an oven. one muffin says, "gee, its hot in here." the other one says, "AH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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Did you hear the one about the priest, the rabbi, the astronaut, the olympic diver, the mcdonald's employee, and the web designer? Neither did I...

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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