Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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what did the old lady die of old age...

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

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want to hear a joke? then go ask someone else i dont know any.

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Girlfriend: OMG! what could be worst than you cheating on me? Holocaust

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Once i was walking down the street when i saw a homeless man As i leant to give him money he jumped up and stabbed me. Now i don't approach drunk strangers with hangovers

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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A fat man walks into McDonald's and was then seen leaving 8 hours later as he finished his shift.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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roses are red violets are blue no seriously they are

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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