When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells SHIT MY FOOT

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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You know what's gay?? Lesbians

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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