How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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The Labour Party.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What is the difference between a goat? It can neither ride a bike.

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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Knock Knock! Whos there? The Game!

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I am white, asian and black... What am I? A panda

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops