A man walks into a bar and sees a woman starring at him, she seems attractive... he walks up to her and realizes that sheis quite mediocre if not even ugly. He proceeds to say "You'll do"

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

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I forgot what i was gonna say

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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What is worse than 3 lesbians in a telephone booth? 6 squirrels donkey punching your urethra.

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A Jew walks into a bar........... he buys it.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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The man decides to jump off the bridge and decides to make one last phone call. "Hello, Jane, this is Doug. I just wanted to let you know, from the bottom of my heart, that I love you." Person on the phone says "This is not Jane, this is Joe." "Oh, hi, Joe. Could you just tell your wife what I said. Bye." The man continues to jump down the bridge and swims with his beautiful girlfriend. They all had a great day.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops