How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

whats worse than the holocost, nothing

Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

What happens if you come across an elephant in the jungle?. You wipe it up What happens if an elephants comes across you in the jungle? Swim

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

How do you make someone laugh at a funeral? Laughing gas How do you make someone cry at a birthday party? Tear gas How do you make someone high at a wedding? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - There are many ways to get high in a wedding. Gas is not the only option.

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

If black guys really have big packages, why are there standards so low, they prefer fat girls? I don't know, but prejudice and racism is wrong dickhead.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

Knock Knock, Who's There? Come in. Come in who? Your mom

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick.

Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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