Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad that this joke took your mind off your terminal cancer?

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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If your waiting in a restaurant for a waiter, doesn't that make you a waiter? O.o

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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A dog was barking at a tree

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, the robot malfunctioned and strangled the child.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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(A man in a dark van pulls up)... Hey kids can you come help me find my puppy? The kids get in the car and they find the puppy in a near by park. The kids are then safely returned home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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