Guess what? AIDS!

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I mustache you a question. But I'll shave it for later.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

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A man walked into a bar. That must have really hurt him.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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Stephen Hawking wheels into the Center for Theoretical Cosmology.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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