What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

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Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

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Remember IRON MAN 3! Subscribe to www.prettypleasehelpmeforgethatpieceofshitmovie.com

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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What did the woman get for her 18th birthday? Stabbed to death.

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What's the difference between Justin Beiber and a horrible singer? Nothing.

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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why didn't the mexiczn eat the black man's cooking? because it wasn't good

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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