What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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How are you doing today? I'm fine...Except for the rape.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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Presidents are black Rappers are white Welcome to 2011

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What is sticky and smelly - a stick

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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Whats the difference between garlic bread and a Jewish person? Garlic bread doesn't scream in the oven.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

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Why couldn't the black baby swim? Babies do not posses the muscular capacity nor technique to enable them to properly swim.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

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Why was the dog barking... Because billy fell down the well

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What is a gremlin's favorite snack? Gremlins aren't real.

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a korean man with no legs sits on a porch. He has no legs so it's considered standing

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Major League Soccer

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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do you wanna hear a joke school

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops