How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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What do you call a black man with a PhD.? A Doctor! What are you, racist?

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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what did the Alaskan homeless man get for Christmas? Death

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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How does the black, high school kid get his new clothes, IPod and nikes? By working at his family-owned convenient store with his father and grandfather every night after school, but not until his homework is done.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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