Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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How did the dinosaurs die???? How the Heck do I kno?

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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How do you confuse and anger a blonde? Kill her family and loved ones and say you did it because potato.

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I want seaman but sex with interracial men body builders. Please call me - 843-813-2788

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FRED CLEAN YOUR ROOM! Ok mom, I'm done "Nothing is cleaned" Well.. I tried

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roses are red violets are black lewis norris has a fucking narra back

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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Oh, hi Dave, come inside.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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Q: What did the blind deaf orphan get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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