Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

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There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? answer: Where's my tractor?

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Women's Rights.

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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women's rights

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Sarah Palin

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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