Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -29

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How did the three girls get free drinks? Two of them were attractive and out of obligation to "the game" the third girl was also purchased a beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Three baby seals walk into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

thumb_up thumb_down -29

whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man walked into doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

thumb_up thumb_down -31

how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

thumb_up thumb_down -31

im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

thumb_up thumb_down -31

wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops