Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!!!!¡¡¡¡

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I drink poodle juice for breakfast lunch and dinner I was then turned into a tree

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Q: How do you cure cancer? A: By die aids first

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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One day a man walked into a wall

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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What's 9+10? 19.

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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Joker: say knock knock. Person: knock knock Joker: Who's there?

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

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why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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