How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock, knock. Who's there? Who. Who who? "My name ism't really who, it's Thomas. I thought it'd be funny if I made you say who who, as though imitating an owl. However, I understand that childish jokes like that are not funny and if anything stupid and immature. I am sorry for wasting your time. I will go continue my solitary life alone in a crappy tenement... Damn government. They have money to fight wars against foreign countries and yet no money goes to feeding the poor. Do you think life of easy for me loving like this?! I'm such a lost cause not even my own parents want to see me! And I'll be damned if they're still alive. A dad who beat me and got drunk even night, and a mom with breast cancer"(Thomas, overwhelmed, proceeds to have a mental breakdown). The man at the door comes out to comfort him. "It's alright man. i'll help you out." He let's Jeffrey stay with him for the next four months. They both get raped by a T-Rex.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120 mph car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +18

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -Pizza. That'll be 20 bucks. -Here you go. -Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your blood is red. Your bruises are blue. I have a gun. Now drag your carcass away from my residence.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops