Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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whats funnier than 24? your grammar, its more funny thank you.

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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Dear Diary, I am down to my last drops of water, I'm going to die soon. Wait, a man is offering me some water! Theres still hope, wait he said sike and ran off. I'm going to die alone.

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I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

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there was a guy who had 2 horses... he entered them into races... they were rubbish... kept losing... so he entered them in 1 big race and said hed get rid of the loser... the horses made a plan to finish it at exactly same time... he heard them talking and said HOW DARE TALK

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What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

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What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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I went to work today....

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... 2 cream 1 sugar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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