How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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What's 10 + 3 x 22 ? Cake.

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

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why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

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What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

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There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

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what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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Rejected Disney titles: - 1,000,000,001 Dalmatians: The Need of Neutering - Beauty and the Bricks - Zambi: the Walking Deer - The Iron King 2: Simba's Ferride - The Little Mormon - Cinderella 4: The Fairy Godfather and his Mafia - Tarzipan of the Choco-Apes - Brother Boar - Home on Deranged - The Emperor's New Sith Apprentice - Mickey and the Mousetrap - Lilo and B**ch

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What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops