Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

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When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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Arrow in the Knee!

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Why did little tommy fall in the well. Because he grew tired of his life of brutal Beatings and starvation, so he jumped.

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what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Why couldn't the 10 year old see the Pirate Movie? Because his weekend was busy!

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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