Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? He was looking for pooh

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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two tomatoes are running and one stops to tie its shoe and the other says "Catch up!" This begins to put the first tomato on the spot and he runs after the second tomato without finishing his shoe and he trips falls and dies of severe brain damage

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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A man gets hit by a car. His family is sad and plans a funeral.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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orange -banana and lemon say....... i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i want to eat u (RANDOMZZZZZ)

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What's green and would kill you if it fell on you? A golf course

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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Fox News

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Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. "Knock, Knock" "Who's There?" "Not Sally."

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

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Why did the kid trip over the rock? Because he was diagnosed with serious autism, and might die soon.

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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