How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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What's funnier than a chicken? nothing.

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You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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I just drank a cola.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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why am I writing this...im bored

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? "How much?! No thanks, I think I'll shop around."

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What do astronauts do if the want a party? They planet

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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whats hard long and has cum in it cucumber

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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two snow men standing in a field and one says to the other can you smell carrots

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops