Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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How do you get a one handed man out of a tree Wave

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What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has has no arms.

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What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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