Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Women can vote? WTF

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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Black people stink of shite!

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A victim of animal cruelty.

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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What did the caveman say to the dinosaurs, nothing dinosaurs are from the Triassic period 25 million years ago, while the origin of man came around 230000 years ago, so there would be a massive time difference and and would never seen each other.

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Why did the frog cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

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Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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Which hockey player has scored the monst goals of all time? He-Shoot-Si Scores

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What did the man say to the woman giving him a blowjob? That feels good.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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