a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I had 99 problems Solved them all

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white, and red all over??? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops